I believe in the gifted community. I have met--virtually and in real life--some of the most beautiful people by working for and among the gifted and talented. I see the passion among parents, educators, and advocates for serving gifted and talented children in an educational environment that is frequently lackadaisical at best about teaching GT kids and downright hostile at worst. I applaud all of these people for seeing the uphill battle for what it is and choosing to fight it anyways.
I have been one of these people. I am mother to two GT kids (one who is twice-exceptional), and I've served as a life coach to gifted grown-ups and parents of GT kids. I've advocated for my own kids and in the process tried to advocate for others. I served two years on our state gifted advisory board. And for quite awhile now I've participated in the online gifted community in various places and to varying degrees.
A few years back my life came to a screeching halt. Though I'd spent much of my life seeking--and, I thought, finding--inner healing for the internal pain I felt, I realized I was still a deeply wounded person. Many of those wounds were inflicted because of my giftedness. And as I child I unknowingly used my giftedness to survive the cuts and shots I suffered. I've spent the past number of years unraveling what my talented, agile brain erected, and I continue to undergo this process.
Knowing what I've learned from my personal experience, I'm able to look at the gifted people I love and realize I'm not alone. I want to offer a listening ear and a helping hand to these amazing people, so many of whom have become dear friends. I think many of us don't realize how deeply we've been hurt by the past or how devastating the consequences have been.
But imagine this. Someone--a child's teacher, a fellow parent, an administrator--says or does something, and we react with intensity. Granted, many of us gifted folk possess our fair share of intensity. But maybe in this situation we react with more intensity than the situation warrants. What I believe happens in most of these situations is that the offending person unwittingly triggers an old memory, and we don't realize it. We react to the real-time situation with our current emotions as well as some measure of impact from the emotions triggered by the old memory, emotions we stuffed long ago in order to cope with the hurtful situation. A teacher who can't understand our kids' gifted needs embodies the teacher we had in elementary school who gave us busywork or publicly shamed us for appearing bored in class. A fellow parent who doesn't understand the challenges we face parenting our GT kids pokes at the wounds of misunderstanding and rejection inflicted by our middle school peers.
It is noble to fight for our kids, be they our own children, our classroom students, or the GT population at large. But we cannot fight those battles as effectively when we are wounded soldiers experiencing shell shock every time we go into the fray. Just as military men and women who sustain wounds in battle need R&R to recover, we need rest and relaxation to heal from enemy fire and friendly fire. We need to allow ourselves time to become whole again so we can look at the war with a renewed perspective.
Heck, we need to heal just because we need to heal! We don't need to be the ugly step-children banished to the darkness in shame only to be allowed out when others want us to serve them. Again, while serving is noble, we deserve to be the cherished people we never got to be as kids. When we can be that, then we can turn around and bring others along the journey with us if we feel so called.
This is where I feel I am now. I continue to discover pockets of my internal world where I need healing. Yet I also see the aching gifted community. I see troubled young men shooting elementary school kids. I see depressed young men committing suicide. I see women hiding their gifts and talents behind those of their husbands and kids, and becoming sadder and sadder as the months and years go by. So I'm going in. If I can possibly help, I want to.
What I write on this blog will be personal not scientific. Like most gifted children with their assignments, I cannot show my work. For much of what I share, I cannot tell you how I've come to my conclusions. I just know I've discovered some answers along my journey, and I know they've worked for me. I believe they can work for others, and if they can, I want to offer them.
I imagine a world where gifted men and women are fully healed and equipped to make the impact on this world that they were originally designed to make. I imagine them no longer hindered by the false opinions, unkind words, and unfair situations they experienced as children. I dream of them fully free and unleashed to enjoy life and, if so called, to make the difference they were designed to make.
If we lived in a world like that--if you set your brilliance free--what might be possible?
Beautiful. <3
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